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A Mundane Comedy is Dom Kelleher's new book, which will be published in late 2024. The introduction is available here and further extracts will appear on this site and on social media in the coming months.

The 52:52:52 project, launching on this site and on social media later in 2024, will help you address 52 issues with 52 responses over 52 weeks.

This site addresses what's changing, at the personal, organisational and societal levels. You'll learn about key changes across more than 150 elements of life, from ageing and time, through nature and animals, to kindness and love...and much more besides, which will help you better prepare for related change in your own life.

Halcyon In Kaleidoscope features irregular and fragmentary writings - on ideas and values, places and people - which evolve over time into mini essais, paying humble homage to the peerless founder of the genre. The kaleidoscope is Halcyon's prime metaphor, viewing the world through ever-moving lenses.

What's Changing? - Acceptance

Acceptance

 

Please see below selected recent acceptance-related change.

 

See also:

 

June 2024

 

December 2023

 

April 2023

  • Maria Popova claimed that it is by erring again and again that we find the shape of the path, by tripping again and again that we learn to walk it. Along the way, the answers emerge not before us but in us. Vincent Van Gogh knew this when he reckoned with how inspired mistakes propel us forward, and the poetic scientist Lewis Thomas knew it when he composed his  essay “To Err Is Human,” found in his 1979 collection The Medusa and the Snail.

 

December 2022

 

November 2022

 

June 2022

 

July 2021

 

June 2022

 

March 2021

  • The School of Life argues that it’s a huge psychological achievement to accept other humans in their bewildering mixture of good and bad, capacity to assist us and to frustrate us, kindness and meanness – and to see that, far more than we’re inclined to imagine, most people belong in that slightly sobering, slightly hopeful grey area that goes by the term ‘good enough.’ To cope with the conflict between hope and reality, our culture should teach us good integration skills, prompting us to accept with a little more grace what is imperfect in ourselves – and then, by extension, in others. 

 

August 2020

 

May 2019

  • It’s normal enough to hold out for all that we want. Why would we celebrate hobbling, when we wish to run? Why accept friendship, when we crave passion? But if we reach the end of the day and no one has died, no further limbs have broken, a few lines have been written and one or two encouraging and pleasant things have been said, then that is already an achievement worthy of a place at the altar of sanity, argues The School of Life. 

 

March 2019

  • Harvard Business Review noted that we can find ourselves endlessly mentally replaying situations in which we wish we had performed differently. Overthinking in this way is called rumination. While we worry about what might occur in the future, we ruminate about events that have already happened. A ruminative reaction to an event often triggers memories of similar situations from the past and an unproductive focus on the gap between the real and ideal self. Prompted by this one event, we begin to chastise ourselves for not being more of something…organised, ambitious, smart, disciplined, or charismatic. Rumination isn’t just unpleasant. It’s closely linked to poor problem-solving, anxiety, and depression. 

 

February 2019

 

January 2019

 

October 2018

 

September 2018

 

August 2018

  • Notions of acceptance are prominent in many faiths and meditation practices. For example, Buddhism's first noble truth, "life is suffering", invites people to accept that suffering is a natural part of life.
  • However, the world is made up of givers and takers, and the takers lose every time,’ according to Ellen Langer, psychology professor at Harvard. When you give - a gift, a compliment, an offer of help - you can feel generous, competent, connected, empowered, in control. At the other end of the spectrum, in the receiving position, some of us may feel needy, incompetent, weakened, exposed, vulnerable. ‘You may fear showing need, and feel wary of accepting something on someone else’s terms,’ says Langer, author of Counter Clockwise. Are we relinquishing control and accepting some kind of quid pro quo? What are we committing to?’
  • Yet accepting does not necessarily mean 'liking,' 'enjoying,' or 'condoning.' One can accept what is-and be determined to evolve from there. It is not acceptance but denial that leaves people stuck, according to Nathaniel Branden, an American psychologist.  Sometimes people can only learn what really matters in extremis. Erica Jong, author of Fear of Flying, believes the key is to accept fear as a part of life - specifically the fear of change – and claims that she went ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back.
  • This phenomenon was reflected in How the light gets in, a 2011 article in Ode Magazine, which argued that while we think of fear as an obstacle to action, it’s just the opposite: fear alerts us to threat and impels us to act to preserve life. In consciously befriending fear and accepting the sense of vulnerability that comes with it, we expand our capacity for joy.
  • In Chasing Daylight, the posthumously-published memoir of former KPMG CEO Eugene O’Kelly, recounting the three-and-a-half months between his diagnosis with brain cancer and his death in 2005, O’Kelly describes how he felt tempted to get angry when a radiation machine broke and patients had to wait in long lines, but he didn’t have enough time to waste it in anger, so instead he began to learn acceptance.
  • Once the five basic needs listed below are met, further affluence and accumulation of goods do not necessarily seem to correlate with a higher quality of life, according to the Worldwatch Institute.
  • Labelling theory (also known as social reaction theory) was developed by sociologist Howard Becker. It focuses on the linguistic tendency of majorities to negatively label minorities or those seen as deviant from norms.
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